What I Read in February 2023

A couple of doorstoppers and lots of non-fiction on audio.

With the help of audiobooks, I finished another seven books this month. I’m really proud of myself because two of the physical books I read were doorstoppers. The Secret History comes in at just over 550 pages and Outlander is a cool 630. Whew! Good writing and quiet time at night helped a ton.

I finished Tom Felton’s memoir Beyond the Wand on the last day of January and didn’t get to include it in my previous reading recap so it’s first on this list.

Beyond the Wand: The Magic and Mayhem of Growing Up a Wizard by Tom Felton

Synopsis: Speaking with great candor and his signature humor, Tom shares his experience growing up as part of the wizarding world while also trying to navigate the muggle world. He tells stories from his early days in the business like his first acting gig. He reflects on his experiences working with cinematic greats and, perhaps most poignantly, he discusses the lasting relationships he made over that decade of filming, including with Emma Watson, who started out as a pesky nine-year-old whom he mocked for not knowing what a boom mic was but who soon grew into one of his dearest friends. Then, of course, there are the highs and lows of fame and navigating life after such a momentous and life-changing experience. Tom Felton's Beyond the Wand is an entertaining, funny, and poignant must-read for any Harry Potter fan.

My Thoughts:

“Sometimes I find the best way to get through the day is by setting myself tiny, achievable goals that take me from one minute to the next.”

I generally don’t rate memoirs. This one was okay! Not a must-read, but a quick read for any HP fan that feels like catching up over coffee with an old friend.

What I liked:

• fun chapter titles + short chapters (15ish mins on audio)

• a look at Tom’s family life + early schooling

• the narration! warm, bubbly, and filled with little chuckles a better sense of how filming worked with “real life”

• transparency + discussion on mental health

• juicy goss on relationship with Emma

• Tom’s respect + admiration for his co-stars

What I didn’t like:

• Tom’s impersonation of Emma’s 9 yo girl voice…yikes!

I really like listening to celeb memoirs on audio! How about you?

Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman

Synopsis: Drawing on the insights of both ancient and contemporary philosophers, psychologists, and spiritual teachers, Oliver Burkeman delivers an entertaining, humorous, practical, and ultimately profound guide to time and time management. Rejecting the futile modern fixation on "getting everything done," Four Thousand Weeks introduces readers to tools for constructing a meaningful life by embracing finitude, showing how many of the unhelpful ways we've come to think about time aren't inescapable, unchanging truths, but choices we've made as individuals and as a society--and that we could do things differently.

My Thoughts:

“Convenience culture seduces us into imagining that we might find room for everything important by eliminating only life’s tedious tasks. But it’s a lie. You have to choose a few things, sacrifice everything else, and deal with the inevitable sense of loss that results.”

This is not the book you might expect from the title. It’s much more philosophical and instead of listing a million hacks for making more time in your day, it gives very real reasons why you won’t.

Some of my favorite topics explored are time as a social construct, time as a method used to control employees, and the shift during the pandemic to reclaim our free time. Perhaps not the most uplifting non-fiction text, Burkeman drives home the point that life is finite so you might as well use your time the best you can. Time allows us to feel like we are in control of things but lends itself to anxiety. As I was reading, I found that I shared a lot of the author’s views, which made me feel less self-conscious about wanting a simple life.

The author presents helpful questions to ask yourself at the end of the book. I liked his suggestion that everything is always imbalanced and we go through phases where that shift in where we put our energy is extremely important, like in childrearing.

“You have to accept that there will always be too much to do; that you can’t avoid tough choices or make the world run at your preferred speed; that no experience, least of all close relationships with other human beings, can ever be guaranteed in advance to turn out painlessly and well—and that from a cosmic viewpoint, when it’s all over, it won’t have counted for very much anyway.”

I read this and then went into the weekend feeling refreshed and with a plan to focus on mindfulness.

Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish

Synopsis: This wise, groundbreaking book gives parents the practical tools they need to cope with conflict, encourage cooperation, reduce competition, and make it possible for children to experience the joys of their special relationship. With humor and understanding--much gained from raising their own children--Faber and Mazlish explain how and when to intervene in fights, provide suggestions on how to help children channel their hostility into creative outlets, and demonstrate how to treat children unequally and still be fair.

My Thoughts: I read How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7 last year and I found Siblings Without Rivalry to be a great follow-up. Some of the points the authors make seem obvious but the role-play scenarios and real-life examples of how to implement their techniques are worthwhile. I'm in a difficult stage of parenting two very different children and I will be using a lot of the methods explored in this text to improve our relationships.

The Secret History by Donna Tartt

Synopsis: Under the influence of a charismatic classics professor, a group of clever, eccentric misfits at a New England college discover a way of thought and life a world away from their banal contemporaries. But their search for the transcendent leads them down a dangerous path, beyond human constructs of morality.

My Thoughts: Wow. What a ride. I was completely engrossed in the story from cover to cover. The Secret History is a book meant to be read slowly. It’s so complexly layered and nuanced that you have to take time to reflect on and critique what you’ve read…just as the author is critiquing the world of academia she’s writing about. I’ve heard it categorized as a murder mystery but it felt like an extremely well-paced thriller to me. A modern-day, self-aware Greek Tragedy. Donna Tartt sprinkles in references to Greek and Roman texts and mythology that you have to understand or at least have some background knowledge of to fully appreciate the text. In that regard, the reader is part of the same elitist club as the students in the book. It’s satirical, really. I loved Richard as a purposefully passive and unreliable narrator. His voice allowed me to immerse myself completely in the story and form my own opinions on an unlikeable cast of characters. This book will have you questioning your own morals and human sympathy. Everything Tartt includes in the book is incredibly calculated and purposeful. It’s perfection.

Finlay Donovan Jumps the Gun by Elle Cosimano

Synopsis: Finlay Donovan has been in messes before--after all, she's an author and single mom who's a pro at getting out bloodstains for rather unexpected reasons--but none quite like this. After she and her nanny/partner-in-crime Vero accidentally destroyed a luxury car that they may have "borrowed" in the process of saving the life of Finlay's ex-husband, the Russian mob got her out of debt. But now Finlay owes them

Still running the show from behind bars, mob boss Feliks has a task for Finlay: find a contract killer before the cops do. Problem is, the killer might be an officer.

Luckily, hot cop Nick has started up a citizen's police academy, and combined pressure from Finlay's looming book deadline and Feliks is enough to convince Finlay and Vero to get involved. Through firearm training and forensic classes (and some hands-on research with the tempting detective), Finlay and Vero have the perfect cover-up to sleuth out the real criminal and free themselves from the mob's clutches--all the while dodging spies, confronting Vero's past, and juggling the daily trials of parenthood.

My Thoughts: I'm conflicted! The beginning of this book threw you right back into the action and then the author backtracks to explain a little of what happened in book no. 2. Most of the story dragged and the introduction of so many new characters was confusing. I had a hard time visualizing the citizen's cop academy setting and it was honestly a little boring. If you read and liked the first two Finlay books, then you'll be familiar with the over-the-top drama that Finlay and Vero get into. This book has the same slapstick comedy feel. Vero still has her money issues. Finlay still has her love triangle (square?) issues. Steven is still up to something. In between all the twists and turns, there was a lot more of a romance element in this story than in the others. Overall, the action and storyline were more of the same. The last hour and a half of the audio redeemed the whole book for me. I was happy to have a little bit of a resolution but a last-minute reveal lends itself to another book in the series. I'm ready for this story to take a different direction so I'm just not sure if I'll tune in for another book if the mob is here to stay.

How to Keep House While Drowning: A Gentle Approach to Cleaning and Organizing by KC Davis

Synopsis: If you're struggling to stay on top of your to-do list, you probably have a good reason: anxiety, fatigue, depression, ADHD, or lack of support. For therapist KC Davis, the birth of her second child triggered a stress-mess cycle. The more behind she felt, the less motivated she was to start. She didn't fold a single piece of laundry for seven months. One life-changing realization restored her sanity--and the functionality of her home: You don't work for your home; your home works for you.

My Thoughts: This book is short and sweet and just the message I needed to hear as a work-outside-the-home mom to two little kids. I often feel like I'm not doing enough and like a failure when I can't do it all. K.C. Davis offers the compassion and understanding that many of us moms (especially neurodivergent parents) need to hear. My main takeaway is that it's okay to ask for help and that even small changes to my mindset and framing can be impactful in creating a house environment that works better for my family.

Outlander by Diana Gabaldon

Synopsis: Claire Randall is leading a double life. She has a husband in one century, and a lover in another...

In 1945, Claire Randall, a former combat nurse, is back from the war and reunited with her husband on a second honeymoon--when she innocently touches a boulder in one of the ancient stone circles that dot the British Isles. Suddenly she is a Sassenach--an "outlander"--in a Scotland torn by war and raiding border clans in the year of our Lord...1743.

Hurled back in time by forces she cannot understand, Claire's destiny in soon inextricably intertwined with Clan MacKenzie and the forbidden Castle Leoch. She is catapulted without warning into the intrigues of lairds and spies that may threaten her life ...and shatter her heart. For here, James Fraser, a gallant young Scots warrior, shows her a passion so fierce and a love so absolute that Claire becomes a woman torn between fidelity and desire... and between two vastly different men in two irreconcilable lives.

My Thoughts: Outlander is one of my favorite stories. After watching the first 5 seasons of the television show, I figured it was about time to join Jamie and Claire back in Scotland and read the book. Gabaldon’s book is beautifully detailed. This is a love story for the ages. It’s hard to sum it up. I thoroughly enjoyed the reading experience. It’s easy to feel like you’re back in the 1700s right with the MacKenzie clan. The final scene in the book didn’t make it into the 1st season of the show which is a shame. It’s one of my favorites. I read this book the week before we went to the Asheville Celtic Festival and it definitely got me in the mood to celebrate our Scottish heritage.

Big Swiss by Jen Beagin

Synopsis: Greta lives with her friend Sabine in an ancient Dutch farmhouse in Hudson, New York. The house, built in 1737, is unrenovated, uninsulated, and full of bees. Greta spends her days transcribing therapy sessions for a sex coach who calls himself Om. She becomes infatuated with his newest client, a repressed married woman she affectionately refers to as Big Swiss, since she's tall, stoic, and originally from Switzerland. Greta is fascinated by Big Swiss's refreshing attitude toward trauma. They both have dark histories, but Big Swiss chooses to remain unattached to her suffering while Greta continues to be tortured by her past.

One day, Greta recognizes Big Swiss's voice at the dog park. In a panic, she introduces herself with a fake name and they quickly become enmeshed. Although Big Swiss is unaware of Greta's true identity, Greta has never been more herself with anyone. Her attraction to Big Swiss overrides her guilt, and she'll do anything to sustain the relationship...

My Thoughts: This exploration of unhinged women won’t be for everyone— especially not the prudish. Big Swiss was quirky and unpredictable, wildly inappropriate, and filled to the brim with dark humor and sarcasm. Part queer romance, part psychological drama, and part character study, this genre-bending book explores themes like sexual identity, mental health, trauma, voyeurism, obsession, infidelity, wealth, privilege, and everything in between. If you like books with likable characters, this book is not for you. Greta and Big Swiss are equally problematic. Our narrator is unreliable and it makes the writing even more captivating. I couldn’t stop reading this book! The audiobook performance was perfect... thank you Libro.fm for the ALC.

---

I’ve started two more books that I’m taking into March. One is a collection of short stories and another is a coming-of-age story. I can’t wait to share them with you next Month!

You can keep up with my reading journey in real time on Goodreads or Instagram.