Back to School: Positive Routines and Rituals
plus picture books about making new friends
I’m in disbelief that my oldest child went back to school yesterday. As I scroll through Substack, it seems like most kids just got out for the summer or aren’t even halfway through. As a mom who works full time outside the home, it’s hard to feel like we made the most of our time together. I worry that our one trip to the beach wasn’t enough to satisfy our saltwater cravings or that maybe we should have taken another midweek trip to the pool. As the back-to-school anxiety sets in, I’ve been thinking through some routines and rituals that will give us a positive start to a new school year.
📆 Countdown to school — We kept a countdown to the first day of school on the fridge. It gave my kids something to look forward to in the morning when they saw a new number on the dry-erase board. You could take it a step further and have your child tell you one thing they’re looking forward to for each day of the countdown. I started our countdown at about 2 weeks out!
🍝 A special family dinner — I think there’s no better way to calm jitters than spending a little extra time together on the night before school. An easy way to do that is to prepare a special family dinner. My kids love spaghetti so it was a simple, comforting meal for the night before the first day of school.
📺 Friday Night Fun — After a full week of school, it can be helpful to have something fun to look forward to on Friday night. For a while we were making our own pizza and streaming a movie. I think we’ll continue the movie night tradition but switch up the dining option as needed. Another idea is to pick up a fun drink like a slushie or lemonade through the drive-thru after school or try out a new popcorn topping. Because of the way the calendar falls this year, we’ll be watching the Olympic Games Opening Ceremony together!
🍱 Pack lunches together — At our house it’s easiest to pack lunches during the end stages of dinner prep, that way there’s only one kitchen clean-up time. We use Bento boxes and my kids are more likely to eat their lunches if they have some autonomy in choosing what goes in it.
There are so many things you can do to make the first day of school exciting but I’m choosing to keep our list simple.
Some other easy ideas:
Go back to school shopping together
Treat your child to a new first-day-of-school outfit
Read the same book aloud on the night before school year after year
Make pancakes for breakfast
Bike or walk together on the 1st day of school
Leave a love note with words of encouragement in their lunchbox or backpack
Have their favorite candy waiting on the counter after school
Take a first day of school photo in the same spot to see how your child grows
My daughter indicated to me that she’s feeling a little nervous about going back to school this year because she doesn’t know who will be in her class. While we went to meet her teacher, they didn’t have a full roster available for us to look over yet. These picture books focus on making friends and I think they’re a good launching point for talking through tricky feelings together.
Words to Make a Friend by Donna Jo Napoli — A clever and innovative bilingual English/Japanese picture book about a Japanese girl and an American girl who prove you don't need to speak the same language to understand each other.
My Friend Maggie by Hannah E. Harrison — A sweet and heart-tugging story about bullying, friendship, and fitting in. This is a good introduction to “mean girls” and peer pressure.
I Walk with Vanessa by Kerascoët — Inspired by real events, I Walk with Vanessa explores the feelings of helplessness and anger that arise in the wake of seeing a classmate treated badly, and shows how a single act of kindness can lead to an entire community joining in to help. By choosing only pictures to tell their story, the creators underscore the idea that someone can be an ally without having to say a word.
Meesha Makes Friends by Tom Percival — Meesha loves making things, but she finds it hard to make friends. She doesn't know quite what to do, what to say, or when to say it, and she struggles with responding to social cues. But one day, she discovers that she has a special talent that will help her navigate challenging social situations and make friends.
The Crayons Go Back to School by Drew Daywalt — The crayons are getting ready to go back to school, and each crayon has a subject they're looking forward to the most. They're also ready to meet new friends. . . and let loose during their very favorite time of day: art class.
The Buddy Bench by Patty Brozo — Buddy benches are appearing in schoolyards around the country. Introduced in Germany in 2014, the concept is simple: When a child sits on the bench, it's a signal to other kids to ask him or her to play. This book explores the kids that bring their school playground to life!
Ruby's Tools for Making Friends by Apryl Stott — An introduction to tools to find the confidence to speak up and make some new friends told with the help of an anxious little fox.
The Berenstain Bears and the Trouble with Friends by Jan and Stan Berenstain — After a fight threatens a budding friendship, both cub siblings learn that you can't always have your own way if you want to have friends.
Ava Lin, Best Friend! by Vicky Fang — Brand-new first grader Ava Lin is determined to find a best friend--even if she's a bit unclear on how to go about it.
Too Shy to Say Hi by Shannon Anderson — Shelli is determined to try to make friends with kids at school after thinking that her pet friends with feathers, fins, and fur were enough at home.
Have you read any of these books yet? Better yet, what tips do you have to make the transition back to school successful?
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Such great ideas for rituals! I'm looking for new family traditions that we can start with my toddler and I'll be implementing some of these!
Love your rituals, so thoughtful! And thanks for the Buddy Bench book rec, our kids have a Buddy Bench at their school and I never new this, I'm definitely getting that book. :)
We do root beer float cheers on the last day of school and the first day of school and it's become my favorite way to celebrate the transitional bookends!